There Must Be Someone I Can Call?

Waiting is not my strong suit. In fact, anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't like to wait for anything. I strongly believe in my personal adage, "there must be someone we can call". Usually there is someone, a supervisor, a manager, a regional manager, a banker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker..... someone who has insight into the problem and the authority to make something happen, or they know who does have the authority. In this case thought, my modus operandi is useless. President Yushchenko is not taking my calls. Not that I've tried to call him. I've thought about it dozens of times. I 've perused his website and stared at the phone number for the Press Secretary, but in the end I've simply closed my Internet Browser, offered a prayer or petition to the powers that be and tried to affirm for the thousandth time "there is something good in this for me."

Is there something good in this for me or for us? I don't know and may never know. Perhaps the 30 degree below zero weather is causing road icing on the very road we would be using and thus we are missing involvement in an accident. Maybe someone, somewhere, needed the seats we had on hold to cross the Atlantic last week. Maybe 20 years from now, when we celebrate "Family Day" it will fall on a date of great meaning to us that it would not have coincided with otherwise. Who knows? Maybe this delay has no meaning other than..... it's a delay. Maybe it's one more lesson in the "new and improved Cynthia program" which has been on-going for the past two decades or more - I call it the program that rounds off my corners, making my wheels turn more easily , with less oil required and with a more pleasant sound.

No, there is no one to call. There is nothing I can do. This is not easy for me to accept. I believe in making things happen. I believe that anything is possible given enough desire and will. Give me a good strong "No" and I'm in my element. Ready to take on the naysayers and doubters. Ready to do that which can not be done.

Those with a psychological bent will most probably have various theories on my personality based on this information I'm so openly disclosing. Most probably the theory is nothing I haven't heard before. Depending on who is speaking, I've been called everything from "bull-headed" to "enthusiastic" to "passionate" to "commited to achievement" to "execution oriented". Another way to translate these comments is in a continuum between "no, you are not getting a raise this year" to "congratulations, we are promoting you and giving you a substantial raise."

However, this project I'm so passionately engaged in at the moment is not work related and no one is paying me for it. There is no "project plan" to follow, or any "go, no go" decisions to make. There is only me, my husband, a child thousands of miles away, and a President who may or may not sign a law that will allow this child to begin to call me "Mom."

If only there was someone I could call..... Instead, I'll pray.

Cynthia


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