Frog in a Pot

Everyone who knows me well knows I constantly use analogies and metaphors to get my points across. I view life in layers, what is felt, what is seen, what is intended, what is ideal, what is universal. Metaphors and other abstract ways of communicating allow for both the subtle, literal and figurative to be communicated at once. So it didn't surprise me at all to wake up thinking about frogs in pots of water.

Looking around me at the flat we have now been in for over 3 weeks, I realize that the infamous frog who never jumped out of the pot as the water heated up and began to boil, also never jumped out if the water was cooled perhaps even to the point of freezing. Usually the frog analogy is used to illuminate how one can learn to accomodate and even live within an unbearable, untenable, unsafe or uncomfortable situation. But I woke up realizing my inner frog has grown fat and happy.

Yesterday I hit the wall here in Odessa, Ukraine. My stomach is roiling, my body aches from the "healthy" but paddingless board which is called a bed here, I am breaking out because the small shower wand can only rinse about 4 inches of my body at a time and at that rinse rate the hot water runs out before my body is completely clean along with a myriad of other annoyances which I am tired of dealing with. Yes, I admit it, I want to come home!

But in a moment of clear thought, this environment which I have now become eager to leave, is not so different from that which I have known. I'm just a fat frog. This flat is better than what I lived in for 4 years at college. The smokey air is no less smokey than that which I inhaled for the first 17 years of my life, nor is it less smokey than the air we all inhaled until such time as California's "health wave" washed across the country and smoking was banned everywhere. The market which makes me yearn for our giant, spotless, sterile Kroger store is reminiscent of the local store where my grandmother and mother shopped, purchasing daily bread and picking out their own cuts of meat or choosing the specific fish we would have for diner. The towels I find so stiff and picky, lacking in the correct egyptian cotton yarn are just like the one's my mother gave me as a child when she would place them on the line to dry during sunny days. Certainly washing dishes in a small sink after dinner is nothing remarkable, I assisted my mother everyday of my life until that exciting day my father brought home a large box which could be hooked to the faucet and then did the dishes for us.

So waking up this morning, I realized that I have grown to accept the material fruits of a successful 25 year career as the norm, when in fact they are not. And usually that fact can be hidden from oneself by the liberal use of the dollar. One can "upgrade" to the large room or suite and sleep in the "heavenly" bed, stay on the "concierge level" to ensure snacks and breakfast are easily available, become a "Hertz Gold" member to remove the need to stand in lengthy lines, rent the Town Car instead of the Fiesta inuring oneself from any standard of living which doesn't meet one's own.

But Ukraine, struggling out of the shadows of economic hardship and finding it's way from deprivation to plenty, has not yet built the infrastructure for the fat frog. Communism is based on equality at a defined level of comfort. And it isn't fat frog comfort. The economic systems have not been built to allow for one to choose what level of comfort one lives in or experiences.

I'm not sure what I make of these thoughts I've been thinking. My husband and I have worked hard to create our individual lifestyle. It's one that we find comfortable yet someone else may not enjoy at all. There are always those with more, there are always those with less. This frog, having been yanked out of my individual pot, is just darn interested to see how big the kitchen really is and how many levels of heat each of these burners has.

Many have asked me for specifics regarding our stay in Ukraine. I will write more about that in another post. Suffice it to say it's most likely not like home. You will read many books. Bring some form of movie playing device and more than 15 movies. Ensure you have paper, pencils, pens, cards, several games for your child. The beds are really hard, low and do not have a "real" mattress. Yes, you can buy everything you need here, you just won't be able to because everything is in another language, and those that are in the store to help you find what you need - they speak another language too. Everything smells "different." And I do mean everything, the air, the water, the sheets, the towels, the food, the restaurants. We usually process "different" as bad. Be aware of that and prepared. It goes away after a few days as "different" becomes the "usual". Once that happens you have "acclimated". You will look around and say to yourself, "what was I thinking, this is fine." That means you are 3 days from "hitting the wall". The day you hit the wall it's best to stay in and sleep a lot. That allows you to "bounce back". This will give you just enough energy to make it back to Kiev. Not having gotten that far yet, I can only speculate. I think I am currently in the "bounce back" stage. That means Dima S. has less than a week to get us back to Kiev.

Much love, Cynthia